February

Don't want to abandon this blog completely so have just dropped in to water the plants and dust a little.

Le Kids (warning: negative rant about to unfold.)
Pencils is currently living with the Asshat because she didn't like my telling her she was grounded when she was caught drinking. Asshat lets her drink. He lets her roam around the city at night. He lets her stay out wherever and whenever she feels like. Even though he's caught her lying about where she is and what she gets up to, he rewards her behaviour (because it undermines me as her parent.) He's too lazy to do anything about keeping some control over her, for fear she will not like him anymore. If I didn't loathe him as much as I do, I'd feel sorry for him for his messed up, aimless existence. I can already see him becoming old andinfirm, and mooching off the kids (no superannuation due to no work history) In the meantime, all I can do is hope Pencils stays safe and grows up a little, and gets some sense.

As for Asshat, I now more than ever believe that he's truly rotten to the core and I would happily see him fall under a bus, but for the distress it would cause the bus driver.

Le Work
This year has started off a little less crazy busy than last. Like a typical Gemini, I'm always looking around to see if there's something else that looks like more fun to do ( or at least doesn't require working at home on weekends). But for now, it's keeping me respectable and I like the peoples I work with.


Le Gym.
I've been going to it. I become red-faced, sweaty and look like an elephant in training shoes, but I keep going because it helps me to stay calm(er) in the face of challening parental issues (see above) and at work. Noise also has a gym membership and is going - but I don't inflict going witih me upon him. He's grown to an enormous height (towers over his mama now) and is wanting to develop some muscle. And it's working. I'm amazed how strong he's getting. He reminds me of my father a bit. He's tall and skinny like I was at his age (my how things have changed) and whilst we clash often over wet towels on the bathroom floor and dishes not done, there's no doubt in his mind that he is loved and I can say that I feel loved by him. I love those moments when you can see the adult emerging in them and while he's still a typical young man, he's a good kid. (Interestingly enough, he doesn't see his father these days and Asshat shows no interest in spending time with him.)

I just wish he's go back and finish school. I can only wait and hope on that score too, but I've seen signs this week that he's thinking about things more.

Le Dog and Le Cats.
Still running the place. The dog helped to unpack the shopping yesterday by removing the free-range chicken breasts from the shopping bag - which was left untended by the refrigerator for one minute, maybe less - and eating it in the loungeroom. For a smart dog it's not very bright.

The cats are still the same. They live on the ledge outside the kitchen window, sceaming at the injustice done them by not being given access to free-range chicken breast at me whenever I am at the sink (doing the dishes that noone else does in this house.) This morning I went for a manicure (it's my version of church) and in the pet shop next door was the most beautiful Jack Russell pup - a boy, eight weeks and one day old. It took all my willpower to walk away. I'd gotten to the stage of finding out all about him and was just about to justify the price. Then I remembered that I work ten-hour days and it just wouldn't be fair and that he would only learn bad habits from the current Jack Russell in residence. Turns out that I'm not that bright either.

Le Love Life.
Nothing to see here. I don't really know how I feel about Grumpy any more. Or if I' do I'm keeping it very close to my chest at present. I am sick of the cigarettes and the drinking. I hate the way he smells of both all the time. And yet, am I any better? Not really. I drink only tghe occasional glass of wine these days and smoke the occasional cigarette - when I'm with him. I don't want to do it anymore and it's easier not do it when I don't see him. I've told him how I feel, but it seems like the Stuyvesants and the drinking will always be more important than me.


Other Family Stuff.
There's a whole other scenario involving my mother and her vascular dementia which I don't feel free to talk about here, because I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea and think I am being disrespectful or don't care. I do.

So reading the above, I guess I've felt that I couldn't come here and post about any of it.

Life is so full and busy and I'm geting a huge kick out of living it. Even the hard stuff.