Wednesday night around dinner time at Feminoz.
Ozfemme is in the kitchen preparing dinner. (Atlantic salmon in panko breadcrumbs with salad. Noise insists he will only eat orange fish. The goldfish store was closed.)
Noise is clamouring for attention, because this is vital to him, particularly when it is obvious that the attention is being diverted elsewhere to - oh, I don't know, prevent the house from burning down or making sure his sister doesn't starve or die of neglect.
Noise decides the best way to make sure that the attention is focused on him is to remove his trousers - and his underwear. Yeah, it's a hoot. Modestly covering his toilet parts, he proceeds to run around the house laughing because oh my godessness, us seeing his skinny white arse is freaking hilarious. Even for the tenth hundredth time. He knows, because he is nearly 16 and he knows that exposing his skinny white arse is the funniest thing anybody has ever done in the history of the entire world.
Oh hang on, what's up with this? Ozfemme is actually ignoring him!!! Pencils hasn't even bothered to tell him to piss off. This can't be!! Noise must up the ante and stat!! So he runs outside the front door (modesty still prevailing, from the front anyway), around the side of the house and proceeds to perform some complicated skinny white arse crazy dance in front of the large kitchen window for Oz's benefit. The neighbour (the one from Far North Queensland who told Ozfemme that he threw petrol at the brown snake in the back yard so that it went away because it knew it was about to burn...???? Ozfemme is still trying to figure out (a) how the snake could possible knew this and (b) why the neighbour was talking to her..) well, anyway, the neighbour looked puzzled. I think he was wondering whether to grab the petrol can....
I digress. Noise is outside performing the skinny white arse cabaret show and Ozfemme calmly walks around the house and locks all the doors.
Ha. Now that was funny. Our other neighbour, Early Shirley has seen it all now.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Because we're normal.
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2 comments:
Thanks a zillion. I am still smiling broadly. (neighbour sounds a bit of a space cadet though)
See what I mean about revenge, enjoy it. It would have been better to ask which way was front since you couldn't tell the difference. Even better would have been locking the doors after you turned the hose on him.
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