Where the hell have I been?

Who cares.

Anyway...the mid-year sales are on here.

I'm done with the sales. (After a few hundred dollars worth....)

My glasses are in for repair - (actually they are in for new lenses because apparantly my optometrist doesn't have very good eyes and messed up my prescription...in the same way as a foot doctor who looks at a foot and doesn't notice that there are toes missing.... Next time I see this particular optometrist I'm going to insist he looks at his qualification certificate up on his wall and tells me what he can read of it....)

I didn't have my contact lenses in yesterday when I went to the sales.

I bought a beautiful, elegant dark blue dress.

I didn't try it on because if I try anything on I won't buy it. I'll end up in tears and it can all get pretty tragic. So, if I get it home and it doesn't fit, I return it.

I got it home and discovered that it is a size M.

It is a size M.

For Medium.

I tried it on and it was not so bad. Except for the bits where it wasn't so good.

M for Medium - what was the sales woman thinking? That I have psychic abilities and therefore wear Medium as a reflection of this????

Ever tried to return anything you bought at the mid-year sales? A word of advice - don't.

Monday night I'm going to the gym and meeting "Andrea", my new personal trainer. She rang me at work and sounded all blonde and perky.
I have told her:

1. Don't ring me at work. I'm bad tempered. I'm also old and fat.
2. No need to sound all blonde and perky. I don't do blonde and perky.
3. I'm only going to the bloody gym because I am old and fat so don't bother with the enthusiastic, perky bit.
4. Perky, stop.
5. Yes, I will see you Monday Andrea, but I'm warning you....stop with the perky. I've already paid so the perky is just wasted on me, okay??

I'm wondering whether she will have a sudden change of career prior to Monday.

Either way, I'm going to fit into the damn dress. I'll become a Medium if it kills me because sure as hell I'm not going anywhere near those sales again.

The interesting thing is that, it almost fits.

Who knew? Certainly not me. But then again, I'm not psychic.

Well, maybe a little bit...

I see me buying more M for medium in the future because personal trainers are expensive and so I will be surviving on chick peas and water.

And I'm posting this from work, so I'll probably get dooced and won't even be able to afford the chick peas....

Have a lovely weekend possums!